Blog post by Maria D., a Kindness Investor from Washington, DC.
Tadiyass! (that means hello in Amharic)
Well friends, I had the pleasure of meeting Asrat last weekend and would like to introduce him to you all. I have only taken a cab 3 or 4 times since moving to the DC area in October 2010. Serendipitously, out of the few times I have hailed a random cab, I’ve had the good fortune to ride with Asrat twice! Each time I was feeling low but both time we cheered each other up by chatting about topics ranging from national politics to Neti pots. That is to me what being human is all about – connecting with one another.
Anyway, Asrat is originally from Ethiopia and has resided in the DC/MD area for the past 8 years. He has some family here but most are still in Ethiopia and it has been a long time since Asrat has seen them. He sends money and other things home and works incredibly hard everyday as a cab driver in order to take care of himself and others. In fact, both times I have met him, he’s just started a second shift after a brief nap at home.
Asr
at’s life can be rough at times, but he did have some advice for those currently un- or underemployed, “Work hard to find a job. You don’t have to wait, it’s not easy, but you don’t need to depend on others.”
at’s life can be rough at times, but he did have some advice for those currently un- or underemployed, “Work hard to find a job. You don’t have to wait, it’s not easy, but you don’t need to depend on others.”It was this hard work ethic that may have lead him to do what he did with the $10 I handed over. “I’ll give it back to you, thank you.” It was a kind gesture, but not surprising coming from a kind man. Even though Asrat thoroughly enjoys engaging with others on the job, he is often concerned for his safety. As such, what would Asrat want or need from us? A safer job. Not too much, if you ask me…
Year of Giving 
Is this the second time you have received the money back? You sure have met some very generous and kind people.
I know that taxi driving is incredibly dangerous – I hope that Mr. Tadiyass finds something safer in the future, and wish him well in the meantime.
Crazy that you have had the same driver twice! I can’t say that I have ever had the same taxi driver twice and I have taken a lot of cabs.
I am wondering how you are going to deal with the issue of people giving you the money back. This is twice so far… and it doesn’t generally happen that way. I was wondering if you are telling them too much about yourself and making them feel that you need the money more than they do. Just a thought. Will you be finding another recipient for the money that has twice been returned to you?
Sure, if that’s in the rules, I will keep trying each time. I liked their stories so I didn’t want to ignore them and got to chat with them so maybe they got reluctant to take money. But I’ll try handing it off sooner or something. FYI I plan on donating any unused money to my local women’s shelter and I had set aside the $70 at the beginning. Anyway, I’m not doing it on purpose, but will take your criticisms into account and work something out.
Ahhh…something that is not covered in my FAQ paper about being a Kindness Investor…I will have to add a section about what happens when someone gives the money to me.
First I personally made a distinction between someone who told me something like, “Hey, keep it…you need it” and “I’ve given this some thought and I would like to give you my $10 back.” It may sound subtle or silly or whatever, but to me there is a difference.
In the first case, I would just go find someone else. In the second case I would keep it until I needed a few extra dollars to give to Street Sense vendors, etc.
The first time someone made a conscious decision to give me the $10 was on Kevin from Day 8. I was lost on what to do with it. Later that evening I found Betsy and gave the money to her. It was burning a hole in my pocket. But check out the post from Day 8 with Kevin and Betsy and you will see plenty of comments about people weighing in on what to do if someone gives the Kindness Investor the money in the end.
I don’t think it is appropriate for us to critique the way that Kindness Investors choose to talk about their project, and how the recipient of the day decides to use the gift. Just my two cents.
What a great connection to have made, Maria!
Maria, this is my last comment on this issue. I share this blog – and the comments of all the investors, with friends on facebook and in a chat group I have online. There were questions from people who wondered. They had followed Reed’s stories and noted that although you had only been doing this for a few days you had two people already who gave the money back to you and another one who was reluctant to take it. They all wondered what was going on since it hadn’t been a problem in the past. No one thinks you were doing it on purpose,, merely that maybe you needed some help from Reed in how to handle the situation when it occurs, and it also would have been helpful as part of your blog if you had mentioned what you were going to do with the money you got back, since when you say nothing, it appears you are merely keeping the money.
Part of the issue, I freely admit is my own. I have been taught that when you give, you are not the story.. in fact, God likes us to give anonymously as much as possible, so that the person who receives doesn’t feel beholden to you. Now this project isn’t meant to be like that. It’s just that it seemed from what little I knew that somehow people must be feeling so sorry for you that they didn’t want to take your money. Again, it seemed that Reed might be able to help you handle the situation, since it didn’t happen that often with him. Twice in one week, when you are only doing this for one week, is a lot! Naturally online, you don’t hear tone of voice and so what I say sounds totally critical, but it was meant to be helpful. It seems there is a problem, and I thought you could use some help in dealing with it, but first had to recognize there is a problem. I have been a follower of Reed’s project and have a lot of respect and admiration for what he did. I loved the stories and getting to know the people who received his money. I think it makes you take another look at those who are in need and see them as real people, not just people in dirty clothes, kinda scary maybe. Anyway, I hope the rest of your week goes well and you don’t have any trouble getting people to accept your money. I’m glad to hear that you have a charity in mind to receive the money that was given back to you. Best of luck with your continued giving.
Shirley if you enjoy the stories so much and the people they detail, why not speak of them.
I think Mr. Tadiyass is a wonderful man, generous and kind.
Why don’t you concentrate on what Maria IS doing and the people instead of what you feel she isn’t doing.
If you think you could be a “better” Kindness Investor then, by all means, please step up.
There is no science or [as far as I can tell] rules to this – Marilyn and Mr. Tadiyass just happen to be very giving and heartfelt individuals that felt the need to allow Maria to keep the money.
I still want to adopt Marilyn. 🙂
Skippymom. I do enjoy the stories, and I share them with my friends on facebook as well as with the chat group I have on the internet. Other people noticed this issue and that’s why I brought it up… we have been following the project for quite a long time, since Reed was doing it himself. It turned out to be an issue that Reed had not thought to discuss with new kindness investors. My intention was to be helpful. You and I simply disagree on this. Let’s just leave it there. PS – I would love to be a kindness investor, if I were not disabled to the point of basically being housebound, and unable to afford even to take all of the medications prescribed to me. I hope you are able to move on from this and just see that we simply disagree on this.
Very interesting comments here!