I often get asked if I regret giving my $10 to anyone. The question has always seemed foreign to me. Sure, some encounters go better than others, but I don’t regret having met any of the people that I have come in contact with on my journey. I find that even the people who I don’t feel a strong connection with teach me something. Well, the person that I met last Tuesday comes the closest to being a regrettable experience.
Lately I have noticed a woman sitting north of Dupont Circle at 1625 Connecticut Avenue during the day. It’s very close to the Chipotle there. Anyway, I have walked by this woman a couple of times now and haven’t had time to stop and speak with her. But Tuesday I decided to introduce myself to Arlen.
The 29-year-old was dressed in an oversized sweatshirt sitting on some blankets with her legs tucked under her. She looked like she had not showered in some time. She had a considerable amount of somewhat long facial hair covering her face. She sat almost motionless, staring out toward the street. As I got closer she slowly moved her head to the right and up to look at me. I crouched down in a baseball catcher’s position and introduced myself. She took the ten dollars and slowly moved her head back center and looked downward and started to smile.
“Do you have a cigarette,” she responded in a slow hypnotic tone. I explained that I didn’t smoke and she asked if I would go find her a cigarette. I decided to try to speak to her a little more before I went on a scavenger hunt, but she seemed obsessed with finding a cigarette and managed to pull herself up and stagger over to some people and try to bum a cigarette off of them. Although she seemed to be talking to them for a few minutes, she continued to another set of people where I imagine she posed the same question. A few minutes later she returned with a lit cigarette and sat down.
She was so out of it that I thought I better cut to the chase and ask her what she was going to do with the $10. She said she was going to buy food with it. “Are you homeless,” I asked. He head moved again slowly and her glassy eyes met mine “Now you’re being disrespectful!”
I apologized and explained that I was not trying to be disrespectful in any way but that I just wanted to understand her situation better. “I make $10 a day and you ask shit like that,” she said. I apologized again and said that I hoped my $10 would be of great help. “Whatever, you’re a son of a bitch,” she snapped back.
Although she seemed to obviously be completely drugged out of her mind, I could not control feeling offended by her behavior. I responded back, “You say that you only make $10 all day long, I just gave you $10. A thank you might be more in line than calling me a son of a bitch.” She sighed and mumbled something under her breath. We both sat there in silence for about 10 seconds until she got up and walked over to the people who had given her the cigarette. I waited for her to come back for about five minutes but she didn’t even look back over toward me. I decided to leave.
I try to focus on taking something positive away from this experience. It’s hard to know what that is though. She was not a likeable person although I know she was not in her right state of mind either.
So, do I regret giving Arlen my $10? Not at all. Do I wish it had went differently? Absolutely.
Day 163 is the day I arrived in Manizales…so get ready for the Year of Giving to go international! I give my first $10 away on an airplane too!
Year of Giving 