When I started the second Year of Giving and invited others who were out of work or underemployed to pick up where I left off after my 365 day journey I didn’t know what to expect. I knew that a year was way too long to find someone who would continue the giving; however, I figured that I could easily find people who would commit to seven days of giving. I was wrong! I’ve had a hard time finding new Kindness Investors. Can you feel me trying to nudge those of you who are on the fence about it?
As a result I am in a situation where we have no Kindness Investor for a few days; however, I figured I would take advantage of this time to give you some updates on some of the amazing people that I met last year.
This is Knox on December 15th, 2009.
The Year of Giving began on the afternoon of December 15th 2009. On that chilly monochromatic day, I got rejected twice before finding Knox who accepted my $10 as he hawked his shoe shining services on the corner of 21st and P Streets in DC.
Fast forward 365 days and Knox made it to the year-end celebration on December 14th 2010. There is a great photo of us from that event.
And then I ran into Knox on February 12th after I was volunteering with Yachad. It was ten minutes shy of midnight when I heard the familiar voice reaching out to the alcohol coated passersby on 7th Street near Chinatown.
We chatted for a while. “Business is good,” he told me. And he said that he has been doing well. He claims to have a handle on his addictions although I am not sure what that means…especially after he produces a bottle of shaojiu, an indiscernible clear white liquor that based purely on the label probably has never made it to any FDA testing lab.
One year after meeting him, I was reunited with Knox, my very first recipient, . (photo: Michael Bonfigli)
Anyway, Knox is Knox. He still thinks that I am some sort of event producer. Ever since I invited him to the year-end party he thinks that I organize regular events. He encourages me to throw another party soon and invite him to shine shoes. I let him in on the secret that I am actually not an event planner…although I guess I could be as it seems that I am collecting professions these days. He seemed disappointed but I promised him that when I throw the year-end celebration in December that he will again get an invite.
I updated his cell number in my phone, handed him the three dollars I had left in my pocket and said goodbye. It was late and I don’t think I was helping his business a bit.
To read my original blog post on Knox that I posted on December 16th, 2009, click here.
I was over in Southwest picking up the autographed baseball that the Nats donated for the fundraising auction when I decided to find somebody in the neighborhood to give my $10 to. I first approached a female crossing guard who was braving the cold to make sure the intersection at First and M Streets was safe for school children. Although she said she really liked the idea of the Year of Giving, she politely declined saying that as a city employee she could not accept any money.
Charmaine suffers from various illnesses and alcohol dependency.
I drove south on First Street a few blocks and found Charmaine walking down an ally near First and O Streets. Dressed in a sweat suit, covered by a white robe and black leather trench coat, she was making her way west down an empty alley holding a plastic supermarket bag.
The 55-year-old told me that she was originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She has a son and a daughter and five grandchildren.
“I get Supplemental Security Income in the form of disability. I suffer from pancreatitis, hepatitis c, high blood pressure, and a chronic breathing disorder,” she told me. “I also am battling depression and suicidal tendencies; I have schizoaffective disorder.”
It was about 3pm and I was curious about where she was going since she was still dressed in her robe. “I just ran up to the corner store (I later found out that she went to the Friendly Food Market that didn’t look so friendly) to get me some more beer; you can probably smell it on my breath,” she said admitting that she probably shouldn’t be drinking because of the pancreatitis, but she struggles with alcohol dependency. “I get two Keystones for $1.25,” she told me pointing to the white plastic sack she was clutching in her right hand. I had a feeling she was going to tell me that she was going to use the ten dollars for beer too, but she had another answer. “I’m gonna get me some food, soap and toilet paper; I don’t got no toilet paper to wipe my ass with,” she said showing me her toothless smile.
We were interrupted by a guy who was getting belligerent with us. He had seen my SLR camera and took an unwanted interest in us. I quickly tucked the camera back in my bag and barked back at him to leave us alone. He kept on taunting us for a few minutes and then walked away. “You gotta be careful,” Charmaine admonished, “a young boy was shot and killed just one street over earlier this week.” I got the message loud and clear. I gave Charmaine a quick hug, said goodbye, and bee-lined it back to my car and got out of there.
After 21 years with US Steel, drugs and alcohol have left Michael homeless. (photo: Reed)
In the early hours of October 5th I had just given my money to Alexander and Phaze. I was talking to Alexander and getting my things together to leave because it was about 1:00am and I had to be at work in a few hours. Right then a guy pulled up on a Trek bicycle. My initial thought was that the bike might have been stolen since it was missing the seat. In a soft voice he approached me and said, “You want the real story?” He claimed that Alexander’s story was not representative of those facing real hardships on the streets. “I don’t choose to be out here,” he said. Although he was critical of Alexander’s choice to sell
StreetWise magazines, I support it. I have seen how Street Sense here in DC has changed the lives of many individuals here in DC. Michael was telling me that he was deserving of the $10 because of the hardships of his life.
So to give you an idea how this went down, I was filming Alexander and just let the camera running when Michael rolled up and started talking to me. Here is the raw unedited (with the exception of one part where we were interrupted) video from that conversation.
Michael said he goes daily to the labor lines in search of day work. “I get work probably once a week,” he told me.
Michael showed me the scars from where he was shot in Seattle. (photo: Reed)
He also told me that he survived a shooting in Seattle. Michael explained that it resulted from an incident where some other man pulled up the skirt of the woman he was with. He stood up for her and ended up getting shot six times. Michael pulled up his shirt to show me the wounds.
Michael's seatless bicycle (photo: Reed)
Before leaving Michael offered to give me the money back. I don’t really know why and I told him to keep it and he did. He said he was going to use it to buy food that week.
Right as I was packing up my stuff, another guy named Tim came by and also asked for money. What is going on here? Did someone tweet that a crazy guy was handing out money at Michigan and Randolph? Anyway, I politely told Tim no and headed home.
On my way home a filmed the following video debrief.
I recently had to travel to Chicago for some work related meetings. I got some emails this morning from readers who read my post that today’s blog post was from Chicago and they thought Oprah had me on her show. Nope, not the case. I was there for some work related meetings. My original plan was to arrive Sunday evening and return home Tuesday late afternoon. You know how ticket prices can be and it turned out to be a lot cheaper to fly in Sunday morning. Since I had all day to spend there I decided to find something to do. As you might be able to tell from some of my posts I am a bit of a baseball fan and love seeing a game at the ball park. I checked to see if either the Cubs or the White Sox where in town and sure enough the White Sox were playing their last game of the season.
The White Sox would go on to beat Cleveland 6-3. (photo: Reed)
I got into O’Hare, took the subway downtown, dropped my luggage off at the hotel and headed over to U.S. Cellular Field. I got there and followed the crowd over to the stadium. A scalper approached me with some tickets for $40. I told him that I only wanted to spend like $10 on tickets and he explained that the tickets he was selling were lower level good seats between third base and left field and he couldn’t sell them for that. In the end he sold me the ticket for $15. I spent another $5 on a White Sox cap (I buy a hat at every stadium I visit, I have 10 different ones now) and headed inside.
The ball park is beautiful. It was built in 1991 to replace the legendary Comiskey Park which dated back to 1910. Comiskey was the oldest baseball park in use up until 1991; a title now owned by the Red Sox’s Fenway Park which I have also visited.
Dan has been a White Sox fan for as long as he can remember. (photo: Reed)
I grabbed a bratwurst and a beer and went to find my seat. Although decent, I was more impressed with the seat location and the stadium than the brat. As I sat down the guy next to me asked if I had bought my ticket from a scalper outside. I told him I had and we had fun comparing notes from our negotiating experience. I think Dan paid $20 or $25, I can’t remember. Two other guys showed up later who had paid $40 for the last two remaining tickets the guy was selling.
Dan and I posed for a photo on top of the White Sox dugout after the game.
Dan was very sociable at the park. He’s the kind of guy that by the end of the game knows the people in front of him, in back of him and on both sides…and maybe even a vendor or an usher. He shared a lot of information with me about the White Sox and the stadium. It was nice to have my own personal guide!
I offered Dan my $10 and he accepted it. This was the farthest west in the US that I have given away my $10 so far. Dan works on the trading floor at the Chicago Exchange. He is a big White Sox fan and comes to about 25-30 games a year. He says he hasn’t been to a Cubs game since the Reagan administration. “This here is for real baseball fans,” he says gazing around the stadium, “and the 2005 season was amazing!” I noticed he was wearing a 2005 White Sox World Champion hat. He missed most of the series though due to a trip down to the Caribbean island of Saba. He also recalls the tie-breaker game in 2008 (also called the “Black Out” game on September 30th between the White Sox and the Minnesota Twins.) “I was sitting high up over there behind home plate,” he says cocking his neck around and pointing to the top of the upper deck. “This place went crazy when Jim Thome hit a homer in the 9th inning to win the game!” It was Thome’s 541st home run and if you want to get an idea of how crazy things were at the ball park that evening, check out this link. You can see how crowded it was and they show the home run and crowd reaction. Simply beautiful.
Final scoreboard message (Photo: Reed)
I went to grab another beer and offered to get Dan one. He told me that he didn’t drink. “I stopped drinking on December 24, 1998 – It’ll be 12 years this December.” I congratulated him on his sobriety and told him a little bit about some of the other people I had met through my year-long journey who are now sober (Bob and Michelle). Dan continues to go to AA meetings and said that he was going to donate his $10 to his meeting group so that they can buy coffee, etc. for the meetings.
I asked him about family. He is single now although he does have children he doesn’t have a relationship with them. “That’s all part of why I went to AA,” he said. Although he didn’t think there was a chance to rebuild that relationship I hope that some day he is able to be involved in their lives in some capacity.
Photo: Reed
After the game Dan and I went down near the dugout to see if any players were coming out. I took some more photos down there and then we decided to leave. We walked back all the way to the subway together. We were both going the same direction, however I was getting off before him. He was a really nice guy and I hope to stay in touch with him. We traded emails and said our goodbyes. He told me to go to Al’s Beef on Taylor Street for the best sandwich in town or if I wanted pizza to check out Malnati’s. I unfortunately didn’t make it to either one. Next time.
Volunteers enabled SOME to prepare almost 400,000 thousand meals last year. (Photo: Thom Wolf)
Volunteering is an integral part of society. It helps ensure that essential public services are provided, builds social capital and fosters cohesive communities all while benefiting the volunteer as well by giving them opportunities to acquire new skills, have sense of purpose and integrate them into their community. I encourage everyone to find some volunteer activity to do at least once a month. It doesn’t need to be formal either. It could be as simple as raking your elderly neighbors leaves, helping someone learn to read, or offering to provide a professional service or trade that you are skilled in at no cost. Former President Clinton said in his book Giving, “Almost everyone – regardless of income, available time, age, and skills – can do something useful for others and, in the process, strengthen the fabric of our shared humanity.” How true he was.
On Day 277 I was volunteering at So Others Might Eat (SOME), an organization that has impressed me tremendously. For 40 years they have been feeding and clothing DC’s homeless and poor, treating the ill in their medical, dental and mental health programs, training individuals for jobs and housing those in need.
It was a Friday morning and I was volunteering in their dining room. They serve breakfast and lunch to a couple hundred people in a short span of time so things need to be done quickly and efficiently.
Michelle will celebrate eight years of sobriety on October 16th! (photo: Reed)
This is where today’s recipient comes in. In addition to being the Assistant Volunteer Coordinator, Michelle also is the Dining Room Manager. In other words, while I am working in the dining room, she is my boss. And let me tell you, she makes the place run. She knows when not to take crap from someone but also knows when someone just needs a hug. I even saw her take a minute to dance a little to the music that was playing and she’s got some moves!
Born in DC General Hospital, Michelle grew up in PG County. She went to Largo High School and went on to study cosmetology. But then things changed. “I got into drugs and alcohol and let them override my education,” she explained. “I was in and out of treatment, in and out of jail. It was not a good situation.” She became sober on October 16th, 2002 – same sobriety anniversary as Bob! She worked a few jobs but really wanted to work at SOME. “I applied and then was calling, calling, calling you know and I finally got the job!”
Michelle has three grown children and a grandchild. She now lives on Capitol Hill, owns a vehicle and has a steady job that she enjoys. “I am grateful for so many things.”
Michelle (right) with co-worker Brittany. (photo: Reed)
Michelle, who turns 48 in less than two weeks, says that it’s the little things that make her day. “You know, sometimes people will come up to me and say ‘thank you, you helped me so much’ and that means a lot to me.” She gets to know some of their guests very well. “I’ve been to funeral services for some of them…in fact I’m going to one today.”
She’s a people person. “I think I’m funny,” she says with a smile. She is and has a great smile, but she can be tough too. “We don’t tolerate disrespect or disruptive behavior here.” Just then a guest walks by and asks her a question. She greeted them by saying, “Hello friend, what can I do for you?” She calls everyone “friend.” Michelle is one of those people that define the organization’s culture. Weak organizations, especially service related organizations, lack people like Michelle.
SOME is located at 71 O Street in NW Washington DC. (photo: Reed)
The ten dollars I gave her would be spent on something small for herself. “I’m going to be good to myself!” She said she might get a sub from Subway.
If you are in the DC area and need a good place to volunteer, check out SOME. Why not get a bunch of your friends or coworkers together and set up a day for you all to go and volunteer together. More details on how you can help can be found here.
So Others Might Eat (SOME)
71 ‘O’ Street, NW
Washington, DC 20001
Phone: 202.797.8806
www.some.org
American flags welcome the cars as they come around for the start of the race. (photo: Reed)
In the US, NASCAR is second only to the NFL in terms of televised audience for sporting events. It claims 75 million fans who purchase over $3 billion in annual licensed product sales making it one of the most brand-loyal organizations in the world. So when my friends Tom and Tressa invited me to go to the Sprint Cup Series NASCAR event in Richmond on September 11th, I couldn’t say no.
Here is something I found amazing. Compare Football to NASCAR. When my buddy Chris invites me to a Washington Redskins game I feel like owner Dan Snyder is always trying to get more money out of me some way. As if the $75 ticket I paid wasn’t enough. Ok, I’ll be honest. I don’t think my Chris, who has season tickets to the Redskins, has ever accepted a dime for the tickets he gives me, however, I am sure he’s paying Mr. Snyder. They charge $50 and up for parking, beers are $8, a sandwich is $10, there’s even been talk about making fans pay to tailgate! In contrast, NASCAR, which was started by Bill France in 1948 and still family owned, has a different approach. Perhaps this is what makes their fans so loyal. When we arrived at the Richmond International Raceway in Henrico County, VA, parking was free! What’s more, you were allowed to bring your own food and beverages into the stadium. Heck, the only other thing you really need to buy while you are there are earplugs. And those are provided at the track by the Boy Scouts in exchange for a donation.
From left to right, Josh, Roger, John, Turner and Jim (photo: Reed)
Anyway, speaking of food and beverages, we decided to do a little cookout prior to the race. A few cars away I spotted a group of five guys enjoying a few beers and laughs and wandered over there to find a recipient for my $10.
Instead of splitting the $10 five ways they choose for Roger, the president of a commercial real estate construction company in West Virginia, to receive the money. I later found out that the five men didn’t know each other before the race. Roger was there with a colleague of his, Josh. The two of them met John and Turner there tailgating. Jim wandered by at some point and made friends as well. It’s amazing what a little Budweiser and 45 cars speeding around in a circle can do to bring grown men together.
Roger said he was rooting for the #88 car, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Turner favored the FedEx car driven by Denny Hamlin. Jim worked for Ford for many years but said he was a fan of Chevrolet’s cars. None of them appeared to be die-hard fans of any one particular driver, just fans of NASCAR.
Roger told me some crazy stories about him having a condition he called “sleep terror.” I looked it up and found it to be more commonly called night terror, or pavor nocturnus, which according to Wikipedia is a parasomnia disorder that causes people to wake up abruptly from their sleep. This is often accompanied by gasping, moaning or screaming while they are waking. It is often nearly impossible to fully awaken a person experiencing a night terror so most individuals end up settling back into deep sleep and have no recollection of the episode.
Roger told me about a time when he was 17 and his parents finally woke him up in the middle of the night after they heard noises coming from the kitchen and found him there alone with a kitchen knife. “I thought I had a tick,” he told me. “I was trying to get it out.” Luckily his parents were able to wake him up and nobody was injured. Think this sounds crazy, check out two other stories Roger shared with me. I also included a short scene from the race…its hard to appreciate the speed and noise on video, but trust me they’re moving fast and it’s deafening!
Now it sounds to me like some of his sleep terror could be a result of the 12-packs of beer that are involved. Who knows? 🙂
I asked Roger what he was going to do with the $10 and he said he was going get something for his kids. “I’ve got one that is eight and the other is ten,” he told me as he tucked the bill away in his wallet.
Before leaving he told me that he thought of something that I could put on the Lend a Hand section. “I’d like my friend Josh here to get a chance at singing country music,” he said of his colleague who had joined him for the race. Josh enjoys singing but was a little shy at the moment to belt out some tunes in the middle of the beer drenched field.
It was getting close to race time so we said our goodbyes and headed over to the track. I admit that I don’t know the first thing about NASCAR or any motor racing sport for that matter. I mean it took me a while to realize that former football coach Jimmy Johnson wasn’t driving the #48 car. That would be Jimmie Johnson, a difference of about 30 years and 50 pounds. It would have been impressive though had it been him. And hey, you can’t fault me too much thinking that with all the talk about Joe Gibbs’ racing team. Speaking of which, the Gibbs team went on to take first and second place in that night’s race. First place went to Turner’s pick, Denny Hamlin in the #11 car. His teammate, Kyle Busch, finished second in the #18 car. As for Roger’s hopeful, Dale Jr., he finished a disappointing 34th.
I invited Bob to a coffee at a nearby coffee shop so Bob could sit down and rest his back. (photo: Reed)
I originally walked right by Bob who was holding himself up by leaning against a telephone pole and supporting the rest of his weight with a walker at the corner of Connecticut Avenue and R Street. I crossed the street but couldn’t stop thinking about what his story was. I turned around and went back and placed ten dollars in his hand.
“I’ve got a bad lower back which is inoperable,” Bob shared. “I fell down a flight of stairs in 1977…each year it gets worse.” There was something special about Bob, although at first I couldn’t put my finger on it. When I first walked by him I assumed that he was panhandling to get some money to buy booze. But I would soon find out that that couldn’t be further from the truth as he’s been sober for nearly 25 years.
Part of me doesn’t want to write anymore and just tell you to watch the video I shot of him. It’s one of the most moving videos I have filmed of all of the people that I have met. Bob opens up to me about being adopted, an upbringing void of love, 30 years of addiction to alcohol and a slew of drugs, family hardships, and 20 nervous breakdowns. His vulnerability and genuine candor will move you. I have watched this video probably a dozen times and forced my dad to watch it this weekend. He too was in awe.
Bob tells me that he has good days and bad days. Sometimes he spends weeks at a time in a depressed state. I definitely caught Bob on a good day. No less than six people stopped by, I kid you not, and said hello to Bob while we chatted. Two or three of them made a specific comment about how happy he looked. I’d like to think I was a part of that, but he might just have been having a good day. If you were curious how many people stopped to say hello to the guy who gives away $10 every day…that number would be zero!
Ruth is Bob’s birth mother. Ann was the mother who raised him. Bob would like to know what happened to his birth mother Ruth Lucas (photo: Reed)He goes into a lot of detail about drug induced binges he embarked on in the 60s and 70s. “I just wanted to drink, shoot dope and have a little sex occasionally,” he told one psychologist in the early days of his recovery attempts. After dozens of failed attempts at sobriety he finally succeeded with the help of others and will be celebrating 24 years of sobriety on October 16th of this year. I asked him if I could see him on that day and he said that that would probably be OK. “So what’s the secret to finally beating the addiction,” I asked. Bob looked down for a second and then looked up and said, “Well, you just have to do two simple things: stop drinking and change your whole fucking life!” He managed a smile and laughed softly despite him realizing the bitter and all too familiar truth of what he had just said.
At one point a stunningly beautiful young woman stopped by and said hello to Bob. “Are you going to play piano tonight?” she asked referring to an open mic session at an outreach ministry-based coffee-house. She had hoped that maybe he would play some music that she was going to bring but Bob said he didn’t feel comfortable doing that. “I just know a few notes,” he humbly offered. “I was hoping to play a song tonight that I wrote. It’s a love song I wrote to my daughter. I love her so much.” He went on to tell me more about his daughter and it was so clear how much he loves and cares for her. He lives in the basement of her house but their relationship is clearly strained. He says that she has an alcohol addiction. “There is always hope, look at me. It took me 30 years though.”
I spent almost two hours with Bob. I learned so much and every topic we spoke about he had something interesting to contribute. I am so impressed with his overall attitude toward life. “Desire nothing and you will have everything,” he says referencing the teachings of St. John of the Cross. “Buddha said something similar, ‘Human desires are the cause of all human sufferings.’”
I caught a rare smile. Bob will use my $10 to help pay his rent. (photo: Reed)
I hope that you take the time to watch the video above. It’s worth it and if you know anyone who is struggling with an addiction or even well into recovery, I think they will find it very insightful. One thing he says about recovery at the end of the video that I think is priceless is, “It takes time and a lot of alcoholics don’t want to wait. It takes time, it’s a process, recovery is a process. They want what they want when they want it. They want it right now. They want 15 years of recovery in a month. It doesn’t work that way. You got to be patient.”
As we said goodbye he left me with a single thought. “Tell someone today that you love them.” Invaluable advice.
Mark your calendars. June 15th is theWorldwide Day of Giving. I know what you are thinking. You’ve never heard about this day. Well, that is because I just made it up. It’s going to be an amazing day though. Let’s see how many people throughout the world we can get to give $10 (or the local currency equivalent) to a stranger on that day and then share their stories here on the Year of Giving. More details to come…but start telling people now. This is your chance to experience the exhilaration that I have been feeling every day for the last 3 months!
On Day 87 I met Rick. He was sitting in front of a hair salon on Connecticut Avenue. I remember seeing Rick about a month and a half ago when I was giving my $10 to Ron. Ron asked if I knew Rick…he said, “Everybody out here knows Rick.”
Rick says he has been homeless for 7 months…but that doesn’t seem to add up with the fact that everybody seems to know him. Even Rick himself told me that everybody knows him. Maybe he has been panhandling longer…but just lost his housing 7 months ago.
He says he doesn’t like to stay in shelters. “They’re full of drug users in there” he says. Most nights he sleeps on the streets.
He keeps one eye always on the foot traffic…especially the ladies. He is quick to shoot a smile their way. A couple people fill his cup with dollar bills as we talk and a few regulars say hello.
Rick is a little too smooth. I wasn’t sure what to believe or not to believe. Sometimes he seemed to lose his train of thought…maybe it was the booze. His breath was soaked in alcohol…although he wasn’t sloppy.
Check him out for yourself and find out what he thinks of his family, where he sleeps, and what he says he is going to do with the $10!
I got up around 6:00 am and walked to the grocery store this morning. We are supposed to get a foot or two of snow today/tomorrow, however, you would have never known it this morning. It was gorgeous this morning. The temperature felt warmer than the reported 35 degrees. I truly felt “the quiet before the storm.”
I met my friend Kimon yesterday evening at the 18th Amendment, a bar near the Eastern Market Metro. He was meeting some others and invited me to join. The 18th Amendment gets a thumbs up, although I had my doubts when I first arrived. They had a beer from Great Lakes Brewing Co., a 20 year veteran of the brewing business from Cleveland, OH, who is starting to enter in the DC market. I actually was introduced to them (literally I met Bernie the DC sales rep) earlier this week, so ironic that I found it on the menu some place. Give them a try, I especially like their Edmund Fitzgerald Porter, although the 18th Amendment only had the Eliot Ness Amber…also good.
18th Amendment near Eastern Market
While I was at the bar, I found myself talking to Dom, a clinical psychologist and professor at Georgia State University. He is in DC on business, reviewing some grant proposals. Dom is a lot of fun to talk to. I am not surprised that he is a professor. He seems to be able to talk intelligently on a variety of different topics. Even when he has a strong opinion, he tends to encourage discussion rather than squash your ideas with his own.
I find out that aside from being a professor, he is also an official spokesperson for Woodford Reserve Distillery, a bourbon producer. No wonder he is in a bar! How do you get to be an official spokesperson you ask? Well, I am not sure I recall 100% of his explanation, but I believe the gist was that he was hanging around the distillery so much that they just gave him the honor. Pretty cool. His favorite bourbon though is Ridgement Reserve 1792. I haven’t tried either of them. My brother had some Blanton’s bourbon…that was probably the best bourbon I have had.
Although all of this is interesting and very topical given our presence at a bar, especially one named for the constitutional change that enabled national prohibition of alcohol, I wanted to talk to Dom about the $10. I asked him what he was going to do with it and he said that he would probably spend it on alcohol this weekend. His reasoning in his answer was based on the fact that he had received an additional $10 that he didn’t have before and the most honest answer for where that $10 would end up is probably in the cash register of a DC bar. He likened it to the possible scenario of finding $10 on the street. That is how he viewed my $10. He added, “You can’t really make a judgment on how charitable a person might be by what they do with the $10…for that, you should check my charitable contributions.”
This one is a long one… go get yourself a cup of tea.
I met up with some former work colleagues today. It’s great to reconnect and hear how things are going for them. On my way home, I came across a heavily bearded gentlemen sporting a hiking style backpack.
Ron, a 40-year-old California native, says he has been in DC for almost 3 months. He had hitchhiked his way from Phoenix to DC and hopes to continue on to Massachusetts after brunt of winter passes.
After a long period of not finding work he found himself on the streets two years ago. Ron says he is a good skilled laborer and has experience operating various types of equipment.
Ron holds his $10 citation for possession of an open container of alcohol in public
We stood talking in the sub-zero temperatures for nearly 40 minutes. Ron is easy to talk to and opens up to me very quickly. He said it’s harder to get work as he gets older. I told him that 40 wasn’t that old. He shifted his weight from one side to the other and paused a little before speaking. “I always want to know, how old do you really want to be? I don’t think I really want to be past 60. A lot of people say they do, I just don’t.” This was so sad to hear. I found myself wishing I had some background in psychology and started to ask him some questions about his upbringing.
At the age of three, Ron’s natural parents, whose names he does not know, gave him up. He bounced around five different foster homes throughout his younger years. He does not have a solid relationship with his last foster family. He even says that he doesn’t truly have a legal last name that he knows of. He uses the last name of his last foster family; however, he was never legally adopted by them.
There is a lot of pain deep inside him some place. I decide to change the subject.
In DC he supports himself by performing day labor and panhandling. He usually goes to the Home Depot off Rhode Island Ave. and hopes to get picked up by work crews. On days he panhandles he brings in about $30 per day. “DC is tough,” he tells me as he mentions cities where one can receive a lot more money panhandling. Salt Lake City and Las Vegas are much better according to Ron. He says that a $100 day is not uncommon in Las Vegas, although he explains that panhandling on the strip is prohibited.
Although Ron is living on the streets, he is a part owner of a house in California. He and some of his foster brothers went in together on a house years ago, however, right now given the housing market lull, he doesn’t believe he will see any of that money for some years. Although he doesn’t have a roof over his head, Ron is not bitter about his situation. He points out that he often sleeps very comfortably in a little covered area just off of Dupont Circle. As he describes the place, I realize he is describing the place where I found Ayalew. I start to describe him to Ron and he immediately confirms that it is my friend from Day 20.
So what is Ron going to do with my $10? “I’ll probably get a little bit of food and maybe do some laundry,” he replies. Then he changes his mind as he recalls that it is supposed to snow later in the evening. He avoids laundry before snow/rain storms that end up getting him wet and dirty. He then says, he might spend part of it on some alcohol.
Despite Ron being extremely lucid, there was the distinct scent of alcohol on his breath. He admits that he has an alcohol addiction and says that he was drinking earlier in the day. In fact, he goes on to share that his drinking that afternoon resulted in him receiving a citation for having an open container of alcohol in public. He unfolds the citation and shares it with me. Would you believe how much the fine was for? $10! I said, “Hey, now you have money to pay the fine.” He smiles and says that he fully intends on paying the fine because if he fails to do so and gets a subsequent ticket he potentially could be arrested.
His entire encounter with the police department was quite interesting. They asked him for ID and he showed them his DC ID card. He showed me as well. On the ID is a clean-shaven version of Ron. His address is listed at 309 E Street. “Is that where you live?” I asked. He explained it was a Day Center where he sometimes goes. “What should I put on the card?” he fired back. “Bench next to Fountain, Dupont Circle, Washington, DC?” He went on to explain that the confrontation with the police department went on for more than an hour. Two additional units were called in for back-up since they could not find his name in the system. He offered to leave the area many times, but they insisted on giving him a ticket. He felt that this was unfair based on the fact that on New Year’s Eve he said there were some youths that were setting off illegal fireworks at Dupont Circle and the police came and didn’t even write them a citation. “I wasn’t doing anyone any harm, those fireworks could have actually hurt someone.”
Ron had been very generous with his time and I felt that I should let him get on his way. I had one last question for him. “What would you like the general public to know about people who are in your situation?” He thought for a while and said that he hoped that people would understand that many people get to be homeless. Many more, he goes on to say, are 1-2 pay checks away from being homeless. As I was getting ready to leave he reminded me of the Day Center at 309 E Street where he says I will see first hand some of the struggles people are having. “Take a body-guard though, it’s pretty rough there.” Hmmm, I will have to think about that. He also mentions that he goes to Miriam’s Kitchen, an organization that offers homemade meals and high-quality support services to more than 4,000 homeless men and women each year. I checked them out and they seem to be a good operation. I asked him if he had ever received meals from S.O.M.E.? He said he had in the past. I brought it up because I have volunteered there and also started a corporate social responsibility program for a former employer that involved donating our time at S.O.M.E.
I put my notebook away and asked if I could take a picture of Ron. He said sure, and I got a picture of him holing his $10 police citation! I couldn’t hold back my grin from the serendipitous timing of me giving him $10.
I couldn’t stop thinking about my chance encounter with David yesterday. It was a real pleasure to meet him.
So, yesterday set the bar pretty high. With the snow storm here, some of my holiday shopping plans got canceled yesterday and I needed to head out to do some shopping. Daniela also needed to still get some gifts, so we decided to head out around 4:00 pm to go to Pentagon City Mall in Virginia. I am a big Pittsburgh Steelers fan, so this was not an easy decision as the Steelers game started at 4:00 pm as well. They have lost their last 5 games and I really wanted to see them get their act together. They ended up winning tonight by one point in what turned out to be a nail-biter.
As we got to the Metro, we saw a man sitting on the ground with a white Styrofoam cup in front of him. You have got to be kidding me. It’s 30 degrees and he is sitting on the ground. We walked past him and then Daniela convinced me that I should choose him for my person today. So I did.
Anthony is almost 60 years old…although I think he looked a little younger. Granted I said that about Knox (Day 1) too. Maybe that just means I am getting older! He was sitting on the sidewalk, a few wet newspapers between his corduroy pants and the snow. He had a two plastic grocery store bags behind him nestled in the snow.
Anthony sits on the frozen ground and panhandles
A native of Bethesda, MD, Anthony has been homeless here in DC since loosing his job in 2000. I was pretty shocked when he told me that he had been on the streets that long because Anthony, despite sitting comfortable sitting on the frozen ground in sub freezing temperatures, comes across pretty well. He had several jobs in the past with household name companies such as Safeway, Marriott, a local country club, and Greyhound bus lines. He eventually had some alcohol related issues that lead to his departure from driving for Greyhound. He agreed with me that it was totally reasonable for them to let him go due to his drinking problems.
Anthony is light-hearted and soft-spoken. He made us laugh several times as he spoke about his times working at the country club when they would have some fun hitting golf balls before the course opened up while they were supposed to be clearing twigs and branches. His eyes lit up suddenly as he recalled the routine occurrence of seeing foxes dart across the greens in the early hours.
Anthony pulled out the two bags behind him. One was a six-pack of Natural Light that was literally sitting on ice, the other had some miscellaneous items. He offered me a beer, which I declined. He made some excuses for his drinking, mainly that it keeps him warm. I bet in the summer it helps keep him cool J.
He began to open the other bag and said that he had something for his mother, whose birthday was on Wednesday. It was somewhat of a birthday/Christmas gift. As he explained what he had got her and untied the bag, the word “egg” came out of his mouth and I was sure he got her some eggnog! But it wasn’t, it was an egg custard pie. He also had some Christmas cards in the bag that he wanted to sign and give to his family to distribute. He said, even on the streets you don’t escape sending some Christmas cards.
Anthony said he was going to use the $10 for two things. You probably guessed that some was going to go to getting some additional Natural Light at some point. You are correct. In addition he said that he would be able to take public transportation this week to meet up with his sister.
Anthony doesn’t have a lot of contact with his family anymore. “It’s hard. I don’t want to embarrass them, and I understand that they need to keep a little distance.” He planned to drop the pie and the Christmas cards off to his sister. I wish I would have asked him about any family he might have had. It was so cold, and I was squatting on the ground to speak with him, that I forgot to ask several things that now I wish I would have.
Anthony seemed ok with his being homeless. He has obviously conditioned himself. He admitted that he might end up dieing due to his illness and inability to stay sober and escape from the streets.
I asked if I could take his picture and he said “sure.” Then he removed his GW hat and asked if I thought he looked better with it on or off. I said it was up to him and he decided to leave it on. As I started to stand and stretch my legs I asked him where he would go tonight. He said he would probably head to St. Luke’s as the temperature was to creep into the low 20s tonight. He thanked me and said that I had been very gracious. I shook his hand and we wished one another a happy holiday and I left. If you come across Anthony, say hello…he is a kind and gentle man.
These experiences are definitely causing me to appreciate my life and family more this year than any other.
UPDATE: June 16, 2010
After more than six months without seeing Anthony, I came across him sleeping in the middle of a park around midnight. I didn’t know it was him, but saw someone who didn’t seem to be breathing and had no belongings with them laying motionless on the ground. I checked to see who if they were ok and it turned out to be Anthony! He seemed intoxicated, but happy. He remembered me and we talked for a while. Here is a short clip.
I gave $10 every day for a year. Would you make a $10 donation (that's less than 3 cents a day!) today to help those in need that I have met through the Year of Giving. You will get updates on how your donation is used.
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