Last Wednesday was absolutely beautiful here in DC. I found Nicole relaxing in her military uniform on a park bench.
Nicole is an active duty officer in the United States Army. A product of the Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (R.O.T.C.) program, Nicole is an Army nurse stationed at a nearby medical center. The soon to be First Lieutenant said that she chose a career in the military to “travel and see the world.” I chuckled a little bit when she said that because I swear I recall a commercial for the army that said exactly that.
Photo: Reed
Nicole was waiting to meet up with someone that she found on Craigslist who was selling some tickets to the Nationals vs. Brewers baseball game on Saturday. The Wisconsin native not only used the free online marketplace to find baseball tickets, but also found her apartment on Craigslist.
Nicole’s phone rang and the man selling her the tickets, Don, informed her that he had arrived with the tickets. She walked over to meet him and I followed her over hoping to still ask her a few more questions (I’m persistent). Don, who had also served in the military, was unable to go to Saturday’s baseball game because he had tickets to game 2 of the Capitals playoff series with the Montreal Canadiens.
Nicole paid Don and he handed over the tickets and then gave her $20 and said, “The first beers are on me. Enjoy the game!” I thought that was a really nice gesture. I told Don about my kindness project and gave him my card.
He left and Nicole and I spoke for a few more minutes. I was interested in her own giving habits and how those ideas were formed. Like me, she suspected that her values on giving were probably shaped by her parents. Given her current financial situation, she is limited in how much she can donate to organizations, however, sometimes she gives money to people she encounters on the streets of DC. “It’s more of a spontaneous decision,” she tells me as she explains why she gives. Coincidentally while we were talking a woman walked by asking for money and we both refused to give to her.
Nicole plans to use the $10 to buy some food at the ball game. I asked her if there was anything that she needed help with that I could post on the Lend a Hand page. She thought for a minute and said that she needed someone to buy her fish tank. “It’s a 10 gallon fish tank in good shape. I just want to get a bigger one. It comes with the stand, pump, heater, some rocks, and plants.” If you are in the DC Metro Area and are interested in a fish tank, drop me a note and I’ll connect you with Nicole.
We walked toward the metro where we said goodbye to one another and she thanked me. I nodded and thanked her for her military service.
Year of Giving 
The woman who asked for money – is part of this project to *not* give to those who are asking? Curious about your personal guidelines for this, as part of your Year of Giving.
No, I have also given to some individuals who have asked. JR from Day 3 and Anthony from Day 67 come to mind right away.
What made you decide not to give to the woman who asked?
I, like Nicole, tend to give to homeless in more of a spontaneous way. Honestly, I don’t know what triggers when I decide to give or not give to them…this time I wasn’t feeling it. -Reed
When someone gives anything to anyone for any reason, it should be accepted for the kindness that it is, and free from judgement by anyone.
We should be allowed to make our own decisions about giving without having our “personal guidelines” questioned!
Reed,
Will you write a book about this? I think it would do well… especially with all the publicity you are getting now…
You have a good heart and hopefully you’ll be rewarded for it… have fun!!
Hi Reed!
Great project you have going on here….truly inspiring! I myself love meeting new people..what a interesting way I could go about it. Keep up the great job!
Oh and your name….the coolest ever…it’s my son’s name too 🙂
I just have to say, I think this is a wonderful concept. I read the piece about you and your project on AOL news and I can identify a great deal with how your mother taught you. For me, it was my Grandma, but the concept is the same. I wish I were able to do the same as you are. Not only do you bring a smile to someones day, but in your own corner of the world, you’re making things better. I don’t know what else to say other than good luck with it and thank you for reaffirming my belief that not all of us are selfish and only worried about themselves.
What a great story to read on my 25th wedding anniversary. I have always been a giver and I will give someone $10.00 on June 15th. It will be fun:) My birthday is only days away from the 15th so I feel especially inspired by what you are doing here. You will never regret it and neither will I…of that I am sure!
I think it’s awesome that you’re chosing to bless so many different walks of life. So many times we get caught up in only blessing the noticeably poor, when a hard-working middle class American sometimes needs a little boost in spirit, as well. Praying for you to be blessed in your efforts. There is an awesome song by Brandon Heath called “Give Me Your Eyes” – I think you’d like it.
Why didn’t you give the woman asking for money anything? I know you have in the past but I guess what helps you decide whether or not you give money to someone who asks?
Mr.Reed, you pretty darned fantastic you know?
$10.00 may change a life. Just that knowing someone cares enough to give a stranger $ might change the strangers attitude, mind, or heart and therefore forever change their life for the better.
Keep going!
I guess she was not your “planned” recipient and therefore, would not fit your “experiment”. I was actually thinking about following this for more weeks, but I guess that response of you (two) is enough. Whenever I give, and I quietly give on a daily basis- my main concern is that the money is needed. In my opinion, it is inexcusable that the 10 dollars went for some food at a game (for someone who is not needy) and you BOTH let go the chance to actually help someone. I guess you hoped Nicole would have given away your 10 bucks, but she didn’t, and you both missed a real opportunity to make a difference. God knows if that woman has not had a decent meal in days…
Of course, this is just my opinion.
Why was it though that you did not give to that woman who asked?
I think it’s brilliant what you are doing. I have two children
who are now adults and I have always encouraged them to
be aware of what is happening around them and be givers
as the world has enough takers.
If everyone shared your attitude this world would be such a
wonderful place. Do you have any idea how many people
you have inspired or made smile?
You most definitely are a shining beacon of light.
What is that saying, curse the darkness or light a candle?
It always makes me so happy to read about someone
doing the latter.
May many blessings come your way..stay safe and happy.
What you do is amazing! I am extremely inspired by you.
Just wonderful, I hope it comes back for you. I’m on the edge of 10 months without work and it give me hope that giving is just giving. If it comes back good if not…..just giving.
My best to you and those who have seen sunshine from your good thoughts.
Reed, What a wonderful project. Why not write a book??
Good luck with the job hunt. I found your site by the Netscape article and I can’t stop reading. What great stories you have and such amazing people. I will give away $10 in June and let you know what happens.
i found your website today and love what you are doing as a military member myself i fully support what u are doing
A woman asked you for money & you didn’t want to give her any money. Why? You’re going to give $10 to a total stranger tomorrow. What difference does it make? You couldn’t give her a few dimes or nickles? Sheesh. I don’t understand the purpose of your website.
I would also like to know the answer to why the woman that ask for the money was refused.
I’m getting addicted to the stories of these people. I guess it is easy to assume that we all have the same motivations, but this highlights how very different people react to the same gesture. I need to go back to the beginning, I think. I jumped in midstream and there are other people I’d like to meet through your blog. I hope the job hunt is going well.
Very inspiring what you are doing. It always feels good to give someone something.
That isn’t good enough . You are willing to give spontaniously $10.00 a day to just anyone, and refuse someone just because you aren’t feeling it? When I first started reading about you I though wow what a wonderful person, reminds me of something I would do. Then when ask you refused the woman changed my thoughts of you. I understand not having to give, but having and just deciding no, I can’t accept the thought of that woman needing and asking and not recieving. Of course we can’t just give all our money away, Anything would have been better than refusal. I can’t help everyone who ask me all the time because half the time I am broke but if i have a dollar so does a stranger if they ask me for it.
Marilyn, I am sorry you feel that way. You are entitled to your opinion of course, but just a couple things to consider. I live in downtown Washington, DC. I get asked for money several times every day. I don’t know of anyone who gives to every single person who asks. Additionally, I have made a commitment to give $3,650 away this year. I really can’t afford too much more than that given that I am not working right now. Of course, I give some days on top of my $10, but it would be impossible to give to everyone. Also, I am not even sure I had more money on me that day. I don’t carry much money, if any, in addition to the $10 I am giving away. I do this on purpose for my own safety.
Reed, you are kind to even respond to Marilyn. As you said, she is entitled to her opinion; but you’re doing a wonderful and unique. You should feel no need to defend your decisions.
Maybe Marilyn doesn’t live in an urban environment as you do, and doesn’t realize that you can’t walk down the street without several people asking for a handout. The fact that you often DO give to people asking for a handout is a testament to your kindness alone.
I nearly never give to someone on the street. That is my choice, and I feel no need to defend it. People who really know me wouldn’t question my generosity based on the fact that I rarely give money on the street.
Reed, I agree with your decision. I always try and give money whenever I can to others. It’s true what you said, sometimes your just not feeling it and it’s not because you don’t want to give. I’ve noticed that the individuals that really need money or even help will not ask for it.
I have had people (in NYC) come up to me for money who are clean shaven in clean clothes. It is completely fair to use your judgement.
Simply inspirational. I don’t tend to comment on things like this, but I feel called to write to you… maybe it’s the military uniform that caught my eye. My husband is in the Air Force and several times, has had meals paid for, received hand shakes and thank-yous, we even had a woman pay for our stamps at the post office while we were sending out our wedding invitations! It’s amazing what a small gesture can do not only to change someone else’s day, but also your own. I love to give when people least expect it. You must feel ecstatic about the connections you’ve made with others. You’ve really made me think. I’ll say it again, inspirational. Way to change the world one person at a time. Thank you!
Just heard about your 365-day mission, and started reading your posts. I commend you for your creativity and compassion. Thank you for reminding me of all of the interesting people out there and of the benefits of giving and connecting with others. Look forward to reading more!
Hey there, just stopped by your site. My sweet friend just emailed me your link, thinking it is something I would like. She was right. Please check out my site too:) I love to write also:) Good Luck!!!!
I would like to know why you didn’t give to the woman who asked? Maybe she was truly needy and would really appreciate your help too.