On Saturday night I was eating at a downtown restaurant here in DC with some friends. Our waiter was a 29-year-old guy named Rob.
I asked him if he had a few minutes that he could break away from his other tables. He said he would come back in a little while and sure enough he did. Rob took a seat at the table and I asked him what he does when he is not waiting tables and the answer I got shocked me quite a bit.
“I’m mostly just concentrating on being sober.”
I wasn’t quite sure how to take this. Was it a joke, or was Rob serious. I quickly deduced that he was indeed serious. He shares with us that he got hooked on crystal meth for about nine months until one day he realized he hadn’t slept in days and was an absolute wreck. “I wasn’t selling myself. I wasn’t stealing, but I also knew that that was next…I was about to cross that line.”
He went on to share something that he recently heard in rehabilitation, “The thing about addiction is that people continue these behaviors in spite of catastrophic consequences.”
Rob’s addiction perplexed him. Neither of his parents were abusers of any kind of drug or alcohol, but he had a grandparent on each side with addiction issues. Perhaps he has a genetic predisposition to it.
Rob agreed to talk to me on camera. He talks about giving, the $10, about his struggle with substance abuse, and the future.
Rob later told me that he has not been sober for five months; rather he has been in treatment for five months and been sober for two months. I told him that those details were less important in my mind as this is something he needs to work at day by day.
I sometimes watch Intervention on A&E. The one interventionist, Jeff VanVonderen, who has been sober for 25 year recently relapsed with his alcohol addiction. So, it is a lifelong process and commitment.
I received the following note from Rob this week:
I have contemplated the fate of my $10. Theoretically it will go towards debt, in particular the taxes I will file tomorrow. But I’ve already spent $60 since I received it. Did I use for cigarettes? Paper towels and cookies from CVS? The Chinese food I ordered from O’Tasty? And every time I use my debit card, $1 is automatically transferred into my savings account. Did any of those dollars come from the ten I got from you? Then of course there’s June 15. If I give away $10, might that be the very same $10 I got on day 117 of the Year of Giving?
I asked Rob if he needed anything that I cold list on the Lend a Hand section. He explained that he really wanted to get back into modern dance and would really like to take some classes. Financially that will be a challenge so if anyone would like to help Rob, he would love to receive a gift card for a dance studio that is Metro accessible, like Joy of Motion, Dance Place, Liz Lerman Dance Exchange, or even Maryland Youth Ballet. Maybe one of these dance studios would consider donating some classes for Rob as well.
Rob’s manager came over and gave him that look like, “you need to get back to work.” I hope I didn’t get him in trouble. We left, but I have thought about our conversation a lot since then and am really pulling for Rob to beat this addiction.
Year of Giving 
I so love reading your blog every day and getting to know such a wide variety of people. I will keep Rob in my prayers. I sure hope that he beats his addiction and gets back into dance. You’ve got to keep your body healthy to dance, Rob 🙂 Best of luck to him and you, Reed – how’s the job hunt going?
Here’s to you Rob! I am pulling for you to stay straight! I lost my mother to alcoholism and it was just a wretched forty years watching her slowly commit suicide and lose almost everything she had ever cared about… Then my own son had an addiction problem, and what I have learned is that there is no shame in becoming addicted. Addiction is an equal opportunity employer, and no one ever plans to become an addict. But stuff happens and addiction happens, and the real heros are those who can tell others about their story in a proud voice and help others to avoid the terrible price that addicts eventually must pay. Stay strong! Celebrate every day of sobriety and keep sharing your good news! You rock!!!
“Who makes your toothbrush?” — best quote ever! And it illustrates so perfectly Rob’s understanding of your project.
Loved this story! Go Rob!!!! Praying that you will stay strong…one day at a time. My daughter has been clean from meth for 4 and half years…woohoo!
Hey Rob!!! Stay Strong and keep us posted. You were introduced to us by this website and it feels as if we know you personally which is why strangers are wishing you success in beating your addictions.
Stay strong, stay focused and always remember you’re staying sober for YOU, YOUR health, YOUR life.
I don’t understand addictions very well, the only thing I know is that its capable of destroying your life if you let it. Please don’t be a statistic.
God Bless you!!!!
I was in Rob’s shoes about a year to two years ago. I was hooked on Crystal Meth and cocaine. I’ll pray for Rob and if he needs someone to talk and relate to he’s more than welcome to email me.
I wasn’t stealing or anything like that as Rob said. Although some of us addicts never reach that point I am blessed to have reached the point of realization that I could have. Rob has common sense and I feel certain he will pull through this downward spiral. He shouldn’t feel guilty that he got addicted but be as positive as he can to pull out of it. Stay away from it and the people that he associates with that do it. He may even find that one of his “friends” want to quit too and can commit together.
It’s nothing genetic! It just happens and even to the best of us. It’s a matter of poor decision making and sometimes trying to fit in. I stopped buying it and realized the more I did it the worse life got.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and He continues to guide and help me through my life. Helping me to fight the addiction was only one of those times.
Helen, thanks for sharing here. I am glad that you are doing better now and I can only imagine the strength that it took to turn your life around. Stay strong, Reed.
Thank you Reed!
I am one of those readers lead by AOL. Although I may not be able to read all or everyday about your meetings. I am doing a paper on you and the act of “pay it forward” in my online course for English.
Funny how God works! I had NO clue as to what to write about and then bam I read about you! Thanks for the inspiration….
Maybe you should put a stamp on one of the 10.00 and those that forward it on to the next without spending it..see how far it goes without being spent??! Thought it would be neat 🙂
Hang in there Rob. Addiction can be so different for every individual and I hope you stay strong. Thanks for sharing your story.
Reed – what happened to day 116?
Hi Anna, it’s there…it was posted out of order though…I explain why in the post.
https://yearofgiving.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/day-116-molly-m/
Take care, -Reed
Ah, I see it now. And I forgot I already read it. Thanks.
I truly hope the best for Rob C., it’s an awful addiction. Someone close to me has this addiction and they’ve been battling it for 10 yrs, unfortunately they aren’t in the place that Rob is in. Thanks for sharing Rob.
[…] He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but the addiction had blurred his judgment. It reminds me of Rob from Day 117 who said, “The thing about addiction is that people continue these behaviors in spite of […]