Last Friday is the day that NPR and the Washington Post ran their stories on the Year of Giving. I got flooded with emails and comments. My website traffic went through the roof. So many people told me how inspired they were after learning about the Year of Giving. It was a tremendous bright spot in an otherwise melancholy day.
The response has been great. The more media attention it receives, the more people write to me telling me how inspired they are. 99% of what I have received is extremely positive and I am trying to get caught up replying to all the emails. Especially all the wonderful offers to help those on the Lend a Hand page! Thank you so much!
After my cousin’s funeral on Friday, my father and I drove south about 3 hours to Richlands, VA. My mother grew up and was buried there and we went to visit her grave.
My mother's childhood house & shed. Hasn't changed too much except the side porch was added (Photo: Reed)
Richlands is a small coal mining town in Southwestern Virginia. According to city-data.com in 2008 the population was less than 4,000 and the median household income was $30,637 – half of the state average. I don’t think I need to say more to give you the idea that this is a place that struggles economically.
That evening my father and I decided to stop by the King Kone; a simple place where you have to walk up to the window and order and then take the food back and eat in your car. My father told me that my mother used to love to treat herself to a chili dog there. I thought it was only fitting to order a chili dog for myself.
While we were there, I asked the woman who was waiting on us if she would accept my $10. She got very uncomfortable and said that the owner would never allow her to do that. She nervously was looking over her shoulder and I asked if the owner was there. She confirmed that she was and I asked if I could speak with her.
King Kone - Richlands, VA (Photo: Reed)
I gave the owner my card and explained what I was doing to her. She refused and said that they were just too busy to talk to me. I explained that this was a very special place for my mother and made a final plea, but she shook her head “no” and excused herself. As a side note, during the half hour we were there…I think they had 5 customers.
So I went back and approached a couple who were finishing up their dogs in their pick-up truck. I imagine the couple was in their 50s. I said hello and apologized if I was interrupting and explained what I was doing and asked if they would like to participate. The woman, sitting near me in the passenger seat, never looked at me and never said a word. The man remained silent until I finished and just shook his head no and grunted “uh ah” and looked away.
WOW….this was not going to be easy. Although I feel a strange closeness to the town since my mother’s family is from there, its clear that I don’t fit in.
I was now 0 for 3 (or 4 if you count the couple in the truck as two attempts). I looked around and saw a Burger King on one side and a Family Dollar store, a hair salon, and the Richlands Pharmacy on the other. I decided to walk over to the Family Dollar discount store. On my way over I spotted Ashley sitting on a bench in front of the A Wild Hair Salon and Academy. Her easy smile was a huge improvement over my earlier encounters.
Ashley (Photo: Reed)
The 21-year-old said that she had worked there since she was 16. With her husband laid off from tree cutting for the region’s natural gas wells, the $10 was warmly received. It is tough to make ends meet for them and their 13-month-old boy.
Ashley cuts Samantha's hair. I only noticed later that there is a picture that I assume is her son on her mirror that I captured in the background. (Photo: Reed)
Ashley started working on a regular customer named Samantha. I told Ashley that my mother was from Richlands and we soon had something in common. Both of our grandfathers worked in the mines. “Those are the only jobs that pay well here,” she said. The other woman cutting hair there spoke up and said, “I used to want to work in the mines…it’s good money.” Then Samantha shared that her husband is working in the mines. “Six days a week. It’s terrible hours, he goes in at 1pm and gets out at midnight.”
The economy is worse here than what we saw in Roanoke the day before.
In case you find yourself in Richlands and wonder what you might should try to see, Ashley said, “I don’t know, maybe go up to Overlook Park in Cedar Bluff and walk all the way to the top.” It was late and we wouldn’t be able to do that…but on my list to do next time.
Ashley said she was going to use my $10 on dinner for her family. I just hope she didn’t go to King Kone…the chili dog wasn’t that good actually…kind of raw and chewy.
Year of Giving 
Thank you so much for your wonderful blogs. Funny thing, you wouldn’t think it would be so difficult to give away $10 each day. Unfortunately, so many times we are faced with “strings attached”, warned not to talk to strangers, or are just too busy with life to stop for a few minutes to take time out to speak with someone. I really enjoy reading your daily posts. It gives me a chance to look at all the positive things in life and take a closer look at all the blessings the world has to offer. Some days, we have to look just a little harder to see the good, but you have helped me to take a look in places I might not otherwise have a chance to see. The pictures are beautiful, but the people in them show so much hope in the face of adversity. Thank you to Ashley for speaking with you and for sharing a little bit of her life with me.
I love how you give a really personally account of these people and it’s not just about the $10!
Ashley is a cutie!
Sorry your experience was less than stellar until you met up with Ashley but it my be the small town mentality since you aren’t familiar to them – although the Mgr’s attitude was a wee bit over the top.
I found your blog through the WaPo and I finished reading it yesterday – I put you on my blogroll and will look forward to your inspiring stories and your great writing.
My best to you and your Dad. And bless your Mother’s memory. 😀
Wow…found your blog in a story posted on PostSecret’s twitter and little did I know when I came here I would see a story about Richlands, VA. I only lived there for one short year while my dad worked as the music director at the local Methodist church. I was only 8 and I’m 23 now…but I still think of it often. I’ve been thinking for awhile that I should go back and visit and your post may be just the motivation I needed. Also, what you do is amazing, that takes so much courage and faith that you will be taken care of. It is impressive and I commend you.
This is a wonderful thing you’re doing. I am from a very small town in Va, and currently live in a larger city. I am not familiar with Richlands. Is that at the WV border? I am quite familiar with Roanoke. The economy has hit hard everywhere in Va as I guess it has everywhere. The small businesses seem to be struggling the hardest. I find it sad as they are the backbone of the state.
I found this link on Neatorama and thought I would congratulate you on the positive vibe I got from your blog.
There are thousands of us…Keep up the faith.
Our main site, Gaia.com is shutting down (300K) members so we are moving in mass to Ning…
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
~Thomas Moore
http://www.gratefulness.org/
Peace
~lars
Dear Reed,
Just wanted to let you know that i look forward to reading what you have done, every day! I can’t wait to get to my email, to see what your next experience will be!
I’m still waiting and hoping that you will get to my letter, and reply soon. I’m looking forward to helping in some small way.
Thanks so much for the difference your making.
Kathi
Wow! I really enjoyed your blog. I came across it from someone else’s page and look forward to your daily giving to others. I’m not rich, a young widow and mother myself, but what I can offer is my time, smile, ear, etc. I had been feeling down lately and finally getting myself back on track and reading your post just reminded me that it could always be worst.
God bless 🙂
Kisha
I’m sure the chili dog wasn’t like the ones your mom liked 🙂 They don’t make stuff like they used to!
I am from Richlands and Ashley is my daughter thank you for the nice things you all have wrote about her Richlands is not aS nice as it used to be and King Kone chili dogs are not as good as they used to be blame it on what the world has come to as well as the economy.
Hello,Ashley is my co-worker she came on board with my husband and I a few yrs ago,she is a wonderful mother she inspires me of how she gets tears in her eyes when her little son does what most of us take for granted,her smile is so rewarding,Ive always stressed to her you only have in life what you give away!She reminds me of that every once in a while,and repeats some of the advice I gave her a few yrs ago.Yes Ashley I am proud of you.
Amazing personal touches to the real individuals you encountered! I am from and currently living in Richlands area…again. I too had moved away during college years…was gone nearly 10 years & came back to a shell of closed businesses and unfortunately…people in their shells going through the motions of life. I could tell within a week this wasnt my same home town & it broke my heart. HOWEVER I have been back home now almost 10 years& now know just like anywhere else in life it is what you make of it! I actually had a state employee rep at our local employment office tell me “if you”re happy only making $20,000 year forever regardless of your background stay here in Tazewell County, otherwise Id get out of here while you can!” WOW….still here, have lived long enough to know quality of life beats quantity, we do earn more than that & we are rich in heritage & family roots. Much luck and prayers on your endeavors!
Hi Cindy, thanks for stopping by. You are so right about the importance of quality over quantity of life and like you say, it is what you make of it. I have mixed feelings about Richlands. In one way, it’s partly where my roots are…where my mother is buried and quite possibly where I will be buried. On the other hand, having never lived there, I feel almost no connection to the actual people who live there today. Perhaps your note represents a new connection for me there. I try to visit once a year or so and it would be great to meet for coffee or something if you are up for it. Thanks for taking time to visit and share your thoughts. All the best to you! – Reed
Reed,
Sorry for such a long response time. Here in slow southwest Virginia, with our youngest son graduating high school time seem to be flying by! Thank you for responding to my post. When you make your yearly visit this year we will be more than happy to welcome you back for that cup of coffee and some conversation keeping you tied to the area with some old, and some new memories! Being connected to your roots is important but so are all the milestones you’ve walked along the way. Hold on to that as well…it is what makes us who we are.
Best to you& God Bless!
Cindy Ash